Comparison

By: Ryan Bush

Human behavior is such a funny thing and so easily influenced by internal and external forces. As children our parents, loved ones, friends, teachers and pastors, help to formatively shape our behaviors. One of the earliest behaviors we learn is how to compare.

Comparison starts so early. As we learn to eat soft foods, our tongue compares each flavor allowing our brains to decide which ones we like. As we learn to walk we compare our steps, if I take this big of one I will go this far. If I take this big of one, I may fall. It goes on and on. It seems like a totally harmless but vitally important behavior to learn. It may never occur that as we grow and mature, the behavior of comparison may become harmful.

Society is a driving force in turning this once harmless learned behavior into a catalyst of misery for some folks. Social media is a never-ending highlight reel for people to log into every single day and compare their lives against others. Its dangerous. Its an easy trap to fall into that can destroy happiness. More than just comparing our lives to others, it’s an in your face opportunity to compare yourself, against yourself. It can promote negative self-talk like, “wow I sure looked better this time last year.”

How do we break the negative habits surrounding this learned behavior and stop constantly comparing?

Ironically, you must start your process of ending comparison, by comparing. It starts with some reflection, goal setting and ultimately celebration. Gather your data; get it out of your system. Get real with yourself and make a list of things you want to change. Look at all the old photos you want, reflect on all the important relationships in your life, last chance, go ahead….compare, compare, compare.

Now shake it off and set some goals. Your goals may include; improving your physical health, improving your mental health, improving your spiritual goals. Give yourself a timeframe. Give yourself a consequence if you find yourself comparing. Tell your friends about your journey and get yourself an accountability partner.

Improving your physical health might mean committing to attending some group fitness classes at the YMCA. This is a great opportunity to improve your health and meet like-minded people. Start slow and work your way up to attending 3 days a week.

Improving your mental health might mean removing social media apps from your phone. Only allowing yourself a small amount of time per day to sit at your computer and catch up on things. This may remove the temptation to constantly compare and help improve negative self-talk.

You could establish a devotional hour each day. Time that you devote to improving your spiritual self. Spend this time doing yoga, or meditating, walking outside or reading in your bible.

Decide before you begin how you will reward yourself and what your consequence is if you fall of track. Maybe pick your favorite charity and set up a comparison jar. Agree to pay the jar every time you find your mind wandering back to negative habits. Give yourself grace. As easy as this behavior is to learn its terribly hard to break.

Once you’ve reached your timeframe CELEBRATE! Certainly as your journey progresses, you will begin to notice greater joy in your life as the shackles of comparison begin to weaken and fall off. An inner peace comes with being content and your peace will be contagious.

Be confident in the new YOU. Be confident that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Make it a point to do your due diligence and share your experience with others. There is truly nothing better than you!

1 Corinthians 4:7

When we compare ourselves to others, we are agreeing with the plans of the enemy for our lives. Comparison is the thief of joy and the stretcher of truth. Comparison says “I am ill-equipped for the task at hand.” The truth is God has given me everything I need for the plans he has set before me.