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Finding Time for Friendship

29 July 2019

By: Heather Bright

"Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver, the other gold."

To be honest, I still don’t know exactly what this song means, and I’ve known it since I was a little girl. Are the old friends gold? Or the new friends? Either way, good friends are gems, and we all need them. What can you do this summer to cultivate your friendships?

Sometimes it feels like time slips away as fast as my 9-year-old on a waterslide. Perhaps you can relate: “Let’s meet for coffee soon.” Soon never comes. Between family, work, church, volunteering, and countless other good things that we do with our time, it is easy to forgo time with our friends, and we suffer because of it.

Hopefully the summer months offer you some time to relax, and afford you the opportunity to actually go get that coffee with a friend. Making time with friends is important because:

Friends can relate

A close friend usually shares several of your interests, or is in the same season of life as you are. There are times that the only thing you need to hear is, “I understand.” A friend with a little boy understands your struggle with your own son. A coworker who has become a friend can relate to the issue you are facing at work. I’ve shared many text conversations with friends when I’ve felt down or frustrated. Those texts encouraged me and helped me keep going. Good friends give us the comfort of knowing that we’re not alone, because they are having similar experiences.

Friends can lighten your load

Life can be hard. When you make time for friends, they will inevitably see parts of your life that aren’t perfect. Last weekend, a friend shared her ongoing struggle with her unexpected job loss. She had gone a month with no income. That created an impact that she felt deeply. I contacted several of our mutual friends and we decided to buy her gift cards to let her know that we care. This was a tangible way to show our care, and it helped provide for some of her immediate needs. Make time for friends who are willing to accept the real you, and you will find a place of comfort and support.

Friends don’t live with you

I love my family. I really love my family. And I know you do, too.  There are times, though, that the people I’m living with are the people who are driving me crazy. Can you relate? Our homes hold our closest loves, and our greatest responsibilities. We look around and see rooms that need cleaned, bills that need paid, and projects that need finished. At times, these things can overwhelm us. A friend can offer a breath of fresh air, outside of our normal routine and living space. Friends keep us grounded with the reality that there is life outside of what may be overwhelming us at the time.

Here are several ideas to help you savor your friendships right now:

  • Send a text to a friend just to say you’re thinking about him or her.
  • Put a date on the calendar to meet with a friend, instead of just talking about it.
  • Make a commitment to do something challenging together. Hold each other accountable.
  • Get healthy together. Take daily walks, or register for a Move 2 Lose class at the YMCA. With ten participating branches, you won’t have to go far from home to spend time investing in your health with your friend.
  • Watch the same series on TV and talk about it each week.
  • Pick up a card next time you’re at the grocery store and mail it to a friend.

Let’s make time for our friends this summer. That simple song goes on to say, You help me, and I’ll help you and together we see it through. You need a good friend today… And someone needs your friendship, too.